Don't be a "Blue Tool"

Yet another FASHION FELONY......

Urban Dictionary defines a "Blue Tool" as; a person who uses their blue tooth headset when unnecessary, or leaves attached in ear when not having a conversation.

I came across this last night. I was without words when I saw this. Blue tooth headsets are to be used while driving in order to free your hands so that you can drive and talk on the phone. They are ABSOLUTELY not appropriate to wear in public, let alone as an accessory while out at a bar.

I don't want to see this again.... it does'nt look cute at all. so for the love of God, don't be a "BLUE TOOL"

Let's Review......

Let’s review the rules of animal prints shall we?
As we all know a little animal print can add some spice to any outfit.....

...That is unless you choose to wear leopard Croc’s. I came across these dreadful things while browsing macys.com and was absolutely horrified! I thought I made it very clear in my previous post What a Croc that Crocs are a HUGE “Fashion Faux Pas”

If you are like me and you like to punch up your outfit by wearing animal prints, there are tasteful ways to do this with out resorting to disgusting plastic clogs.

Pairing animal print shoes with a simple dress or some jeans are two great ways to pull off this look.
Another idea is to carry an animal print bag! Just remember that you should not wear animal print from head to toe. Not only is it a Fashion Felony but it’s way too “Matchy Matchy”

A Faux-Pas comes full circle.

Once considered an extreme FAUX- PAS is now a thing of the past. Can you guess what I’m talking about?
I'm talking about wearing brown and black together in the same outfit. Most of us would have rather died than wear these two together. But now, I am here to tell you that it not only acceptable, but it actually looks good. I'm not sure where the idea that the two colors didn't match came from but I’m glad that we as fashonista's have finally wised up and can embrace this look with open arms.
You will be seeing it all over this season, from people walking on the streets or in shopping centers, high end catalogues, to the chicest boutiques.

Now, there still are a few rules that go along with this.

(1) If you are wearing a belt, the belt must match your shoes. For instance, brown belt, brown shoes and vis-versa.

(2) Keep it simple. Don’t go around wearing all different shades of brown with your black. It will make you look like a patchwork quilt and that's not the look we are going for here.

Wear your brown and black together! You will look and feel FABULOUS!

Heidi, it's not Halloween yet!!

Heidi, One question..... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
The Hills star was spotted wearing this disaster earlier this week.
Maybe Spencer has started brainwashing her to the point where he is telling her how to dress.
What ever the reason for this nightmare, it's not a good one.
I hope that Heidi never wears something like this again or I might have to put her in my fashion "black book" filed under repeat offender.
Consider this a warning Montag!

Picnic Time!!!!

What is this???? UGLY as HELL that's what!! When I came across this disaster and was for once, speechless. For one thing, this D&G dress is one of the most hideous things I have ever seen. Two, what happened to Jessica Simpson? I never thought I would say this, but Kelly Osborne looks better than her. WOW!!! Jessica, you have let your new found country lifestyle go just a tad too far. You’re supposed to eat on the picnic blanket, not turn it into a dress!!

Slob's in the City

Maybe I missed the memo, but I doubt it.
When did it become socially acceptable to dress like a slob? I recently read an article in TBT, in which a journalist was going to Publix for a late evening snack when she saw something that made her "tremble in fear". There were a number of people there dressed in items that one should never leave the house in. She saw, four pairs of pajama pants, three “muscle” tees, a halter dress exposing a dingy bra, a scrunchie, and too many dirty flip-flops to count.

Similarly, I have noticed this at school. Why do people think it is okay to wear pajama pants, slippers, ripped shirts, basketball shorts with dirty “wife beater” tank tops to school (or anywhere for that matter) ? Yesterday, I counted 4 people in just one class doing this. Did I go up to them and say, "What are you doing? Are you nuts? Don’t you know how awful that looks"? NO. I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.

You may notice people committing this fashion felony while traveling. They can be spotted in airports around the world.
You don't have to sacrifice your dignity for so-called comfort.

So, I say to all the pajama clad publix shoppers, students and travelers; Keep the PJ's in the house and no one gets hurt!

No!!!!! Not Again

NO NO NO...... This is becoming ludicrous! 2 times in one week I see this sock stuffed in a "shoot" business.

Now this lovely disaster is the creation of Stella McCartney. A pair of these will set you back $1,195 (very tempting, i know).

I know where this idea came from. Stella was smoking a huge ROCK, and saw a pair of

hideous "booties" then thought, "Wow you know what would look great with those? Thick Socks!! BRILLIANT!!" I'm here to inform anyone who cares, that these little things are not cute. They are not as bad as the Marc Jacobs ones, but, they still pose as a great example of an extreme faux pas.

Hollywood Blvd. meets Rodeo Drive

When looking at this, you may be thinking that this is a new trend for strippers. quite the opposite. This is the latest from designer Marc Jacobs....

I would not be caught dead in these shoes..... I'm not really sure what Marc was trying to accomplish here. If it was to design a shoe that makes you look like a 2 dollar hooker, lady of the night then Hat's Off!!!! he succeeded!!!

Those of you who do wish to look like a streetwalker wearing "hybrid" shoe. go ahead a cough up $495 to look like a HARLOT!!! In my opinion, that's $494.99 too much.

This shoe is just a different version of one of my absolute favorite faux pas of all time: loafers or any type of heel with socks.

(awww... now don't cry_______, I love making you the butt of my jokes!!)

Checker boards are for playing checkers.... hence the name!!

Who wants checkers all over their pants? This girl does, THAT's WHO!!


I was shopping at International Plaza this past Sunday, when something suddenly caught my eye. No, it was not a fabulous bag or a cute outfit.... It was a girl wearing the most awful hideous pants I have ever seen. Not to mention they are "skinny" and she has chosen to pair them with not one, but two metallic belts. YUCK!

Someone must have missed the memo that this is not by any stretch of the imagination attractive. She would have been better off wearing a huge sign that says, "Hi I am a victim of extremely bad taste, and I have absolutely no fashion sense." That would have saved my eyes from experiencing a tremendous amount of pain.


But, I am actually glad that she wore it because it gave me a change to educate others on yet another Fashion Felony

Chief of (fashion) Police

We've all seen it...... these "wanna be" gangster guys "housing" their pants almost around their ankles. not cute! anyway, the Chief of Police in Flint, Michigan has had enough!

He has ordered that anyone who is wearing sagging pants with an un-tucked shirt, be searched.


The ACLU's Michigan chapter says that Flint Police are stopping people and pulling up their shirts to see if their pants are too low. the Police Chief claims that it is indecent exposure and a violation of the city's disorderly conduct ordnance, which gives police cause to search the person for drugs or weapons.

This trend is spreading nationwide amongst law makers. most cities implementing this law are handing out fines up to $500, while others are assigning community service.

I only wish we could give out fines for fashion felonies..... maybe then some people would think twice when choosing what to wear.

you have got to be kidding me!!!!

As if it weren't already enough, Ed Hardy has made the decision to come out with a line of handbags.

Talk about saturating the market. In the beginning the Christian Audigier brand was unique, and considered by some to be a "status" symbol.

Now, it is EVERYWHERE!!- Even being made into "knock knocks" (fakes). I remember a product like this not a few years back that did the same thing.

Unless you were living under a rock- you have seen this bag. The Louis Vuitton Multicolor.

When it was first released, you would only see Celebrities carrying it. Then it was showing up on every "Jane" who decided that sporting a "knock knock" was better than nothing. I completely disagree.

If you so desire, go out and buy this Ed Hardy bag priced at $290. But I would not recommend it. Unless you are a fan of being the person who everyone looks at while you’re carrying it and thinks, what an idiot! That person spent almost $300 on a bag that makes them look like a complete moron.

Mark my words: this may be popular now, but give it 6 months and then tell me if you will ever carry this again. Unless, you are using it as a tote to carry all of your Ed Hardy items to the local thrift store.

c'mon SERIOUSLY?

WOW!!! This guy seriously went to his closet, picked out this wretched outfit, put it on, and went out of his house believing that he looked good!!! That is a scary thought!

For the record: Stripes and plaid DO NOT MATCH!

I came across this DISASTER at a local bar which I attend occasionally for Friday happy hour. Now, I wonder what was going through his head. Was it "man, I look good!, the ladies will be all over me tonight!" or was it "it's Friday and who cares what I wear" either way it is absolutely UN acceptable.

I wont continue to dissect this horrendous excuse for an outfit any further, but readers, please be advised that this is a fashion don’t. If you are caught wearing something like this or even close (and I am lucky enough to have a camera in arm’s reach) there is a good chance that there will be a post about you.

"Just Say No" to Beer Bikini's!

ATTENTION: If you are thinking about wearing any type of "beer bikini" this weekend for 4th of July DON'T!

Nothing says "Hi, I’m white trash, what’s your name?" more than this.

I will be on the lookout for fashion felonies all weekend. I will have my camera in tow so beware!!

Also, I shouldn’t have to tell you this but I will.

American flag ones are not okay either.

Guys, don't think you're exempt from these rules. Girls don't think it makes you look hot when you wear beer or any other alcohol related board shorts. It makes you look like a tool!

Crime of Fashion

Here are 6 visual examples of a trend that needs to go away immediately!

Gladiator sandals, not only make you look like, well a gladiator, but they also make you look like you have absolutely no clue in the world!

If you didn't already know, these are UGLY!! You might as well wear crocs, or loafer's with socks like someone I know!

I know that it's pretty hard to go into any shoe store these days and not see these things. But use your brain, and resist the temptation to even look at these, let alone try them on, or even worse buy and wear them.

If you want to wear a fun sandal, i recommend a nice sandal with some hardware accent, or even some jeweled straps.

take this invaluable information and roll with it!!!

you look like a giant creamsicle

I saw this girl this weekend wearing this "creamsicle" looking outfit (you know, those delicious orange popsicles with ice cream in the middle). only, this outfit is anything but delicious. seriously, both her skin tight pants and top are 2 different shades of orange. not to mention the "VPL"! (visible panty line)

This would fall under the category of "fashion felony"

How, does this happen you ask? well, let me tell you how. These types of fashion felonies occur when certain people don't know how to: one, wear things that fit, and two, they happen when people decide that its okay to walk out of the house looking like a creamsicle!

What a CROC!!!

I know what you're probably thinking....The answer is No! This is not a new line of shoes for home depot employees. This person actually put these on by his own free will.

Yes, crocs might be cute for toddlers but not for grown men or women for that matter. I see this situation far too often, someone is trying to look "cute" by wearing the same shoes or clothes as children. Where does this logic come from? Is it cute to wear character underwear, bonne bell glitter lip gloss, or socks with ruffles around the top? I don’t think so!
Stop wearing these at once. Please do me a favor and save us all from getting that feeling when you are embarrassed for someone else.
If you're over the age of 6 there are some things you just shouldn't do, and wearing crocs is one of them.

Now the Crocs brand is even coming out with a cell phone holster for your hip, as if Crocs were cute in the first place, now they make it easy for you to show the world that you like to wear accessories that look like you got them with your tickets from Chuck E. Cheese.

If you want to be guilty of committing a fashion felony, then please by all means wear crocs. Consider this advice and insight to what others think when adults wear things that are intended for children.